I've done it again. I have joined an internet dating website.
I would never have taken this plunge again after my original issues with it if it hadn't been for two of my friends. They joined, and seem to be pretty happy. Each has met a guy and they are dating regularly. I figure if they are 2 for 2, then maybe I should give it a shot. After all, when you haven't had a date in (insert a reasonable number here) years, it may be time to call in reinforcements.
So I joined. And after roughly two weeks I finally had two different guys each send a message. They were interested! And so I logged on to read their profiles but was immediately frozen by a glance at their pictures. Umm. That couldn't be right.
Guy number 1- I don't remember any details he wrote in his profile, but he looked familiar. I think he may have been on America's Most Wanted a few weeks back. Seriously! The guy's picture was worse than a mugshot. I'm sorry, but if you are going to post a picture on your profile- make it one worth posting. No self portraits taken at your computer desk. Photographic self portraits SUCK! And I am almost positive I saw paneling on the wall behind him which can only indicate one thing: double-wide. My fantasies of meeting a guy and one day making his home mine do not include an address in which you must indicate a lot number, if you catch my drift. Sorry dude, my standards may be desperately low, but you are outta here!
Guy number 2- Another self portrait. Five words: Lord-of-the-Ring-Junkie. I think we can all agree that I need to give no further explanation as to why I did not respond to his communication request.
Now, I am pretty discouraged. The only two guys who have cyber-approached me are bad. Real bad. I am no Grace Kelly, but please.
Now, after weeding out the "little people"- and I mean literally (one guy was like 5'3") I have some possibilities. Now I only have to hope that they don't disregard me because of my double chin. Maybe I should include in my profile an explanation for my double chin. It really would be only a chin and a half if I didn't have this damn scar from my toddler years. It makes my chin look bigger- I SWEAR!! And big cheeks run in my family!
Some perks that I am considering listing about myself are as follows:
1. I never wear dirty underwear.
2. I'm decently intelligent. I know the difference between their, there, and they're (and by reading some of these profiles there are apparently a lot of people who don't.)
3. I brush my hair daily and do not have lice.
4. I am not one of those girls who has 300 pairs of shoes in her closet = not a shopaholic. I am confident that any guy realizing that he won't have to follow me around a mall while holding my shopping bags will take a second look my way.
5. I make a mean mac-n-cheese.
6. I very rarely cry- this one could put me over the top!
What more could a guy ask for?
Anyone... anyone?
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