It started about a month ago. I noticed that I could hear things above me, you know, on the other side of the ceiling. Up there...
I heard it while in my bedroom, I heard it while in the living room, even in the kitchen. It sounded like someone was dropping something, maybe a marble, and it would roll just a little after falling. I am aware that I have a rather large pecan tree in my yard. I imagined pecans falling on the roof, and I could picture them rolling off and into the grass. But I wasn't hearing that much rolling. Just a slight roll as if the pecan, marble, or machete was dropped and settling into it's spot.
That's right, I said machete. I began to get a little nervous when I heard noises the third night in a row. I don't have an official attic where you can walk around and make an extra bedroom like on The Brady Bunch (remember when Greg got the attic looking pretty far out?) My attic is the kind where cables run through and there's a lot of insulation. Not a fun and cozy place to be. And access to my attic is in the garage, which means a masked murderer could have climbed into it, crawled around while reading his preprinted blueprint of my house, and planted himself directly above my bedroom while waiting for me to fall asleep. He could be waiting to kill me! But thanks to Oprah, I really am not all that scared of burglars or some scary man breaking into my house. She taught me years ago the three point defense plan. You take two fingers, the pointer and middle, spread them into a V, and poke the attackers eyes while simultaneously bringing up your other hand in the "no you didn't" pose, and then proceeding to shove your palm upwards at his nose. Then quickly knee him in the nads. It's supposed to work every time. Oprah had a woman who had fought off a serial rapist! Seriously! If you want the transcripts, I think I saw it sometime back in '87. Look er up.
And then I realized my problem may not be a masked murderer at all. It could be a Casper. A ghost! I realize that watching weekly episodes of Ghost Hunters and Paranormal State don't help me with my one and only fear of the paranormal. I know that a lot of the sounds I hear on the show are sounds I hear every night in my very own house. But what if my problem is coming from the supernatural? What if there is a ghost and it is waiting for just the right moment to show itself. It wants to catch my attention first. Then it will consume all of the energy in my room thereby lowering the temperature to the point of visible breath. And then it will manifest. The last thing in the world I want is to open my eyes only to see something looking back at me. Something that I have no control over. Something that could literally make me pee in my pants, or worse....
Or, I could have a squirrel. Someone mentioned that I may just have a squirrel storing nuts for the winter in my attic. He may just need a warm place to stay. Well, by the sounds I heard the other night, he apparently wants a 24 hour workout room because that thing was running back and forth over my bedroom! It scared the patooties outta me!! I was quietly reading and minding my own business when all of a sudden I heard something running a goddamn marathon above me! It ran to one corner, dropped something, then ran diagonally across to the other corner. Stopped. Nothing. And BOOM. It ran back to the original corner.
I was frozen. My body didn't move an inch. I didn't blink. I think my blood literally ceased to travel through my veins. What the hell was that? I stayed still for a good three minutes before beginning the process of convincing myself that I hadn't really heard anything at all. I could have imagined it, right?
Since that night I haven't heard a thing. And that was a week ago. I brought it up to brother who is confidant that I just THINK it was in the attic but really it was on the roof. I hope he is right. I really do. But if you had to choose, which would you prefer?
OR
No comments:
Post a Comment