Lindsay's Top Ten Most Embarrassing Moments

Here we go:

#10. The button on my pants popping off, hitting the wall, and then ricocheting back at me. I was alone, but still humiliated.

#9. My Visa getting denied at the mall. We've all been there.

#8. Locking myself and three kids out of a house while babysitting. Pretty embarrassing to have to go to a neighbor's house and call the parents. They came home early and let us in. Oops.

#7. I once filled up my brand new car with diesel fuel. It wasn't my fault! The spout on diesel isn't supposed to fit into my unleaded fuel tank!

#6. SEVERE stage fright during a baton recital. My only movement was walking with my row from the front of the stage to the back. Other than that... frozen.

#5. I once introduced a twin to someone using the other twin's name. When she introduced herself by name- the correct name- I pretended to not even notice, and then called her by her correct name for the next few hours.

#4. Falling down the stairs on my first day of high school. When I looked up from the floor, a really cute senior was asking if I was okay. I was more embarrassed that I had a lime green and black coordinated outfit on. Even the dang spandex under-shorts matched!

#3. My mother once convinced me to go down to Mockingbird Station with her. She is in a scooter and decided we were riding the train down there. She can drive a LOT faster than I can walk. So after about thirty minutes of her nagging, I agreed to ride her back-up scooter. Once we got there I saw some old friends. From a distance. I hid. And apparently not very well because days later they asked my cousin why I couldn't walk anymore and what had happened to me. I'm not sure what is more embarrassing, them thinking I was paralyzed, or my cousin wondering why the hell I was riding a scooter.

#2. Vomiting in the middle of 9th grade geometry. I'd had a choice. I'd known it was coming, but if I had made a run for it, I would have puked over half of the class located near the door. Instead, I chose to lean over my desk and throw up my Snickers bar all over the floor. Everyone stared at me. My teacher stared at me. I couldn't even sit back up because I had stuff hanging from my mouth. I had to ask, "Can I get a napkin please?" This really sounded like, "Ku uh gu uh nuhkhun pluh?" That is when my teacher took action and handed me some paper towels which she typically used to clean off the overhead projector. She had already sent someone for the janitor before she got a student to walk me to the nurse. I might have too if I had liquid Snickers all over my floor.

and now........drum roll please.........

#1. An old boss sent me to the store after he had a major surgery. He had somewhere near 50 pounds of excess flesh removed after a big weight loss. He told me he needed a stool softener so that he could "sit down." Keep in mind I was a teenager and had never heard of a stool softener. When I got to Eckerd's I asked a lady where they were. She sent me to aisle 4. And there they were, donut pillows to make it easier for him to "sit down." I bought one and rushed to take it back to him. He and his stripper girlfriend had the time of their lives laughing at me. I've never felt a more fierce fire on my face.

Can you top these?