You stink Justin Matisse!

There is something to be said about people who stink. Take a friggin bath!

I am what you might call "smell-sensitive." I can smell everything. And I hate it. I'd like to float around the earth minding my own business, never knowing who is wearing yesterday's clothes or what someone ate for lunch. But it is not meant to be.

At work, I am often surrounded by children who don't have the opportunity to have their clothes washed as often as most. It's very sad. Just by sight anyone can tell who wears the same uniform shirt every day and those who don't. The bad part comes when you can smell who wears the same shirt and who doesn't. I can tell whose parents smoke. I can tell whose mother left the laundry sitting in the washer too long. This is easily identifiable by a very disturbing mildewy smell. That's the one that bothers me the most. It's just so dirty! I can tell who spilled lunch somewhere on their clothing. I can tell who ran around in the heat. Man, some of them are in serious need of some deodorant! And I can tell who had a home-cooked breakfast before they left for school in the morning. Eggs and bacon are hard to miss. Children, though, are not to be blamed. They have to rely on adults to be cared for. If they stink, mom and dad are to be blamed.

Now adults, they have no excuse. Adults should smell decent no matter what. Why on earth do people stink? And how can they not know? There are several people I work with that smell horrible. They just absolutely stink! One has a horrendous case of halitosis. I can be standing a good six feet away and smell it. It's not the I-ate-garlic-and-onions-at-lunch smell, it's more like a my-body-is-seriously-trying-to-tell-me-something smell. The guy has no idea at all. But everyone else does. No major dental problems, no sickness, just a serious case of what I call travelling bad breath. I can understand why it stinks when standing right next to him, but for his breath to diffuse into a 10 foot radius around him is just ridiculous. Get some breath mints man! Although his breath is so bad I truly do not believe that a few spear mints would help.

Then there's body odor. Good god I've got doozie. There is someone I am around much too often. There is no mistaking when this person is in the vicinity. There is an extremely strong odor that precedes her entering an area and lingers after she is gone. I've never smelled anything like it. I don't quite know how to describe it. But let me say this... my nose literally burns when having to inhale around her. I have even choked when inhaling in her presence. Unreal! If the people around her are so utterly disturbed by her smell, how can she not be? Is she just used to it? Is she some sort of human prototype that is not offended by it? And what can her spouse possibly be thinking? Maybe he stinks too. Who knows? What I do know is that she needs to have a serious cleaning of her body, clothing, and inner organs. The smell absolutely cannot be given off by a healthy body. Something has got to be seriously wrong with her. I describe this smell as a smoker non-deodorant-wearing feminine-hygiene urine-splashed odor. I can understand her hesitance in doing something about it though. I mean... with that description, where do you even start?

Heed my warning people. Shower regularly, wash your clothes, and brush your teeth at least twice daily. Without this, you can guarantee yourself a vacation from me. With the kids, the coworkers, and the anonymous people I run into everyday my nose just can't take it no mo!