Bachelorette goodbye

Wow. The bachelorette party. It came. We saw. It's over.

We started out late. We meant to be at Uncle Julio's by 8. It didn't happen. But by nine o'clock we each had a sangria swirl in our hand. The party was beginning.

Whit had the traditional condom veil, a light-up "Bride-to-be" sash, and a penis tiara. She drew lots of attention, just like she likes. On her way to the restroom a little girl told her she liked her tiara, her mother pointed out the cute "candles" on top of it. The waiters told us we were the tamest bachelorette party to ever walk through their doors. The night was still young.

I predicted tears and vomit by 4am.

We made our way from Uncle Julio's to Memphis. I've been there before and my experience made me want to head for the hills. But this time was much better. We got seats up close by the live band. They sang all the right songs. But I refused to clap and sing to Jessie's Girl. Hate Rick Springfield! The singers grabbed Whit onto the stage several times. She didn't even pretend to be embarrassed. She LOVED it. She's always been a ham. She danced, she sang, she got us all free shots. Nothing better than drinking on someone else's dime. And lemme tell ya, it doesn't happen often.

After a few hours there we left. We made our way to the piano bar down the street. Upon entering an older lady took a swing at one of us. I'm not sure if she was trying to hit us or one of the other people standing near her. Her aim was slightly skewed if ya know what I mean. She fell three times before getting out the door, and that was with a friend on each side of her. She forgot about us and started swinging at her friends. The night was promising to be very entertaining. The bar was full of your typical white bred frat-daddy crowd. We had a few drinks and closed it down. Someone bought us all drinks. We made friends. We danced and sang. The lights came on and we headed out.

Alex was our cabbie. Alex is from Kenya and sends the bulk of his income home to his mother and siblings. Alex did not seem to be swayed by the van full of loud and giggly girls as he headed out to Plano. Little did Alex know that we would be making a pit stop at Bueno before heading home. Sister always makes us head to Bueno- even when we KNOW it's closed. What did Alex care, more money for the madre.

Things got tense after that. Sister #1 was upset her taco fix wasn't coming. Sister #2 and her friends' play slapping went to the face. Yep, that's when the tears came. Blubbering and crying mixed with tears. Sister #1 was smart and went straight to bed. I got stuck trying to calm the others down. I wasn't successful.

The good news is nobody remembered the fight come morning. But what's a bachelorette party without a little drama?