In my blind spot

I had a serious case of road rage today. Or maybe it was really drive-thru rage. I had a prescription to pick up from the pharmacy. Let me just fill you in on something. When I am picking up a prescription in the drive-thru, it usually indicates that I am sick and not feeling my best. The last thing I feel like doing is stand around in some store for thirty minutes while waiting for my prescription. The drive-thru is supposed to be a quick way to get it. The pharmacy drive-thru is NOT for lazy mutha f-ers who don't want to get out of their cars. I pulled in behind three cars today. I am lucky in that only one was a lazy mutha f-er. She was a suburban mom driving a Chevy suburban while talking on her suburban cell and holding her suburban Starbucks at the same time. I was amazed at her multi-tasking skills. She dropped off her prescription and then sat there for a very long time. You know what? She was waiting for her prescription to be filled right then and there. People! Using the drive-thru is only for dropping off, or picking up. They must not be done in the same trip. I have never wanted to ram a car worth twice as much as mine so much.

A few weeks ago I was at- take a wild guess- a staff development workshop. Parking was scarce. I finally found a spot, but since I am now savvy as to the parking lot mad-dash after the workshops are over, I now back in to spaces. Have you ever tried to back out of a space when there are forty-seven other cars filtering out of the one available exit from the lot? It doesn't happen. So now I back in when I get there so that I can easily pull out afterwards. I found it. The perfect spot. I swung out, put my car in reverse, and turned around so as to see where I was going when backing in to the spot. By the time I whipped my head around the spot was gone. GONE!!! Some little 22 year old biatch in the 92 Honda her daddy bought her back in high school pulled into my space without hesitation. She knew exactly what she was doing. I was shocked. It had been so obvious. She saw my reverse lights! She was right behind me when I swung out! She didn't care. I was pissed. I had a fleeting fantasy of putting my foot on the gas and ramming her shitty little Honda out of MY SPOT. After all, my Honda is bigger and better than hers. TAAAAWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNDDDDAAAA!

There is a chronic problem in the metroplex of people not staying in their lanes. It drives me crazy. I'll be driving down the highway, minding my own business, and the car next to me starts nudging itself over the line into my lane. A quick strike of panic usually hits me followed by... road rage. I am a little ashamed to admit it, but these days I remedy the situation by speeding up a little, getting about half a car length in front of them, and slowly easing myself into their lane. The good news is that it then throws them into a frenzy. They react to my scare tactic by jerking away from me and slamming on their brakes. I love it.

As I have eased into my thirties I have noticed that my rate of speed has slowed quite considerably. I used to speed. Everywhere I went was in a hurry. My rushing through yellow lights and California turns had to save me a good 20 minutes on my commute, right? Wrong. I started noticing that I would stop at a light and the car I passed 30 seconds before would pull up right next to me. My speeding wasn't doing any good. I was still ending up at the same place as the slow drivers. So I am now a speed limit only driver. Maybe five mph over. I figure my safe speeds make up for my scare tactics and road rage.

My advice to you is this: Stay out my lane, out of my blind spot, out of my parking spot, and out of my drive-thru. This will help make me happy thereby reducing road rage incidents in my community. Good luck to ya.