Time is flying fast. My summer job will soon be over. Back-to-school sales are popping up all over the metroplex. Another school year will begin. I don't want it to. Each day that passes leads to an increase in the size of the pit of stress in my stomach. My subconscious continuously warns me that my real life is just around the corner. I'm not ready for it to kick back into gear. Summer is fun, and very stress free. I've been brainstorming on a way to slow time down. Wouldn't it be great if life worked like Tivo? Am I the only one who reaches for the remote in real-life circumstances? Every now and then, I just need to rewind life to catch something I missed, or change a bad decision I made. This happens a lot.
My father always told me that I can do anything that I put my mind to. He's right. I can. Only problem is that it won't lead to paid bills at the end of the month. I've had a million jobs. Babysitting, hosting, waitressing, admissions in doctor's offices and hospitals, teaching, cashiering, and more. Of course the job I love the most is the job that pays the least. Typical. Why is that? I just wish I could have the job that I love, and be able to live off of the income.
I find myself saying those words a lot these days. "I wish I could......" is pretty much the most commonly used phrase in my vocabulary. People shouldn't have to say those words. People should be able to do what makes them happy. Within reason of course. I wish I could live at the beach. I wish I could pay off my debt. I wish I had more energy. I wish I could sleep in every day. I wish I could clean my house with enthusiasm. I wish I had a smaller nose. I wish I was in love. I could go on. But I won't. My question is: how do I get those things? It's not like I'm asking for the Hope Diamond. A lot of my wishes aren't materialistic at all. The things required to guarantee my fulfillment do not cost money- for the most part anyway. Don't get me wrong.... An all expense paid trip to Europe for a month might just push my life to the happy side of the spectrum for quite a while. Seriously. But on a day-to-day basis I need very few things. Someone to kiss goodbye in the mornings might be nice. An empty laundry basket could definitely do the trick. Never having to clean a bathroom again. Having someone else do the dishes.
I guess what I am trying to say is that I want to be the happiest that I can possibly be. It wouldn't take a winning lotto ticket.
Honestly, I know I should consider myself lucky. I am healthy. I have a family that I love very much, and I'm pretty sure they love me back. I've got great friends who always manage to cheer me up without even knowing I needed it. I've got a car that rarely gives me any trouble. I get compliments on my hair- although I cannot figure out why they most often come on days when I haven't washed it. What in the world does that mean?
So what it all boils down to is this. IS THIS IT???
1 comment:
I used to think "is this it?" also. In a way it is, but then I realized the difference between enthusiasm and passion is thin as my hair. (Comments on my hair are rarely complimentary! - Its hereditary)!
With enthusiasm comes passion, with passion comes confidence, with confidence comes the best things we seek - you CAN do anything you set your mind to...
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